Title    : Both Ways, Now
Original : Both Sides, Now
Group    : Joni Mitchell
Author   : Guy L. Steele Jr.
Intro    : 
Song     : 

              Both Ways, Now

           [to be sung to the tune of
                Both Sides, Now]


Decimal digits in a row,
Just set the dials and let 'er go.
The ENIAC was grossly slow --
    I used to code that way,
But then this Fortran came along;
I danced and sang a happy song:
So natural -- what could go wrong?
    I little knew, that day!
I've looked at Fortran both ways, now,
At II and IV, and still somehow,
It's rows of numbers I recall;
I really don't know Fortran at all.

Fortran IV is real good stuff,
But business hackers have it tough;
For them this Fortran's not enough --
    Then Cobol saved the day!
But now I sing a sad refrain;
This Cobol loss is no one's gain,
And writing programs is a pain
    (I get writer's cramp that way!)
I've looked at Cobol both ways, now,
I code in it, and still somehow,
It's FORMAT statements I recall;
I really don't know Cobol at all.

Cobol will for business do;
Accounts and payroll make it through
(And bills for zero dollars too --
    I get them every day!)
But those who hack symbolic frobs
Cannot make do with Cobol jobs,
And now I sing through anguished sobs,
    But Lisp is here to stay.
I've looked at Lisp code both ways, now,
At lambda forms, and still somehow,
It's Cobol statements I recall;
I really don't know Lisp at all.


                -- The Great Quux
                     (with apologies to
                        Joni Mitchell)